Adulthood means that, sometimes, you have to buy gifts for people you don’t like. Maybe it’s a family gathering and you’re assigned to buy for one of the difficult aunts. Or a work shindig where it’d be amiss if you gifted everyone except that jerk Chad who keeps taking credit for your best ideas.
If you’re looking for solutions that are inconveniencing or embarrassing, you’ve come to the wrong place. This isn’t that kind of list. I don’t propose that the unliked people in your life receive bad gifts. On the contrary, I say kill em with kindness.
These gifts for people you don’t like are impersonal but classy. Nice, but detached. The more expensive items are meant for the people who know you don’t like them. Make them wonder why you’d drop such a chunk of change on them.
This gift is for the Chad mentioned above. He’s gonna love his yummy “Mom Bombs.”
These bath bombs are vegan, have a high review rating, smell great, and are completely basic.
Where in the world are they going to put this? How are you going to wrap it? That’s not your problem. And you’re not.
This huge, unwieldy, deep-bowled sink is made of a 16 gauge steel. It’s as sturdy as your spite.
Nothing says “I hold you in disdain” like gifting a decorative holder for the fancy pens you know they don’t have
This sleek little number has an utterly worthless tiny clock on it, too.
I don’t really understand the draw of whisky stones. But, I imagine it’s a way to say, “Here’s a way to make your burgeoning alcoholic tendencies fancy.”
Whiskey stones can be chilled like ice cubes, but, since they’re, uh, stones, they won’t actually melt and dilute the precious amber liquid within.
The copy for this product states, “whiskey glasses to brag about.” Give this gift because you know they’ll do it.
It’s luxury fashion, but weird. Is it a chunky bracelet with zippers? Or a tiny purse?
It’s real small, so the giftee won’t be able to fit much in there. But the logo’s real prominent. And I bet the shallow person you’re buying it for will love that.
A gift as boring as the conversations you have with the windbag receiving this gift.
Uh, you might want to think about getting yourself one of these, though. This fireproof document bag is probably a good, practical thing to have.
But it’s a sucky gift. That’s why you’re also buying it for someone you don’t like.
Getting the really good olive oil can truly elevate food’s preparation and taste.
It’s worth it to spring for the good stuff, especially if it’s a gift for a braggart. Fancy olive oil is like fancy wine, but there are fewer excuses to brandish olive oil and boast about its cost.
Give this gift and watch them try to figure it out.
I guess you cook with this spice? Gift this to someone you don’t like who doesn’t know that. Tell them it’s decorations.
These fancy soaps are loved for their clean, crisp smell. They’re a pleasing blue that would look nice in any soap dish.
More importantly, this gift is a fun way to intuit that the person you don’t like smells.
Not an actual luxury watch, just the holder. A sleek, compact, and 100% leather holder.
It’s as hollow as the compliment you gave while handing this gift to the person you don’t like.
I had such a good time roasting these gifts. And the people we don’t like who will receive them.
Do you have any ideas to add to this list? Drop them in the comments.