Navigating the whirlwind world of toddlerhood is challenging for any parent. With brains still forming, toddlers struggle to focus on tasks, leading to moments when it seems impossible to get through to them. It’s almost as if your toddler isn’t listening at all.
Despite their occasional bouts of defiance, toddlers aren’t acting out of malice. They are naturally driven to explore cause and effect while testing boundaries.
The key lies in setting the stage, maintaining calm, and finding non-reactive ways to communicate effectively.
These techniques will help secure your little one’s compliance and ensure you both stay cool, collected, and connected in the process.
Setting The Stage
It’s easier for everyone to practice active listening when some conditions are met.
Establish A Routine
Having a consistent daily routine can reduce uncertainty and stress for both for you and your toddler. Knowing what to expect each day can mitigate challenging behaviors and make it easier for everyone to stay calm.
Are You Hydrated?
And the toddler. Have they drank enough water?
No, seriously. I know it’s such a simple thing, to encourage everyone to drink more water. But humans act out when even slightly dehydrated. Everyone take five and chug a glass of water.
Also, How’s Those Macros?
Since we’re checking in about hydration, how much protein has that adorable little goblin had today? Are they running on empty carbohydrates and sugar (hey, it happens)?
Try to get some protein, healthy fats, or complex carbohydrates in them-and you, too.
Maintaining Calm
Staying calm when a toddler isn’t listening is challenging. And maddening. But it’s essential to remember that adult reactions set the tone for the situation.
Breathe and Leave
Take deep, calming breaths before responding. This pause will help regulate emotions (and model self-control for any pint-size witnesses).
Need more than a few breaths? That’s cool, take a timeout to gather your thoughts (and self restraint!). Recharge and approach the situation with a fresh perspective.
Force Perspective
It can be beneficial to remind yourself that toddlers aren’t acting out of spite. They are trying to understand their world.
Try to see the world through their eyes. Acknowledging their emotions can help you approach situations with understanding rather than irritation, reducing stress for both of you.
Lower The Bar
Understand that perfection is unattainable. It’s okay to have days that don’t go smoothly. Or are just complete crap. Adjusting expectations can prevent unnecessary stress and help maintain calm.
Lean into it by proclaiming the beginning of each week “Bare Minimum Monday!” (I saw that on the internet somewhere.)
What to Say When You’re Toddler Isn’t Listening
It’s easy to get frustrated and start yelling when toddlers aren’t listening, but that often makes the situation worse.
Instead, try using these phrases to get your toddler’s attention and encourage them to listen:
- “Put your listening ears on!”
- “Can you show me how you listen by repeating what I said?”
- “You’re (mad, sad, etc), let’s take some deep breaths and talk.”
- “Give me a sign that you heard me.”
- “I know you’re busy, this is important.”
- “I’m going to count to three. Do what I ask or (consequence).”
- “We have to listen even when we’re (excited, mad, etc).”
- “I’m going to use my calm voice, and you use your listening ears.”
- “Eyes on me!”
- “You’re such a great listener, thank you!”
- First, get down to their level and make eye contact (otherwise, don’t assume they’re paying attention).
- Second, give them clear and specific instructions (not vague or general ones).
- Finally, praise them for following directions.
Conclusion
Toddlers are still learning how to communicate and follow directions. Using positive and encouraging language makes them feel heard and understood, even when they’re struggling to listen.
By using these phrases, you can help reinforce good listening habits and build a stronger relationship with your child.
Want More?
Check out these other articles about toddlers!
- The Third Best Parenting Tip I’ve Ever Received: Emotional Validation
- Everyday Ways to Increase Hand Strength in Toddlers
- Communication Activities and Games for Nonverbal Toddlers
- Taming Toddler Sibling Rivalry
- 10 Fall Crafts for Toddlers
Happy toddler wrangling!
Love,
